He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize