All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just pee around me
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
