when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Buhtt sex?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
