I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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