Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize