a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize