16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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