I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
