My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
