Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize