she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
