Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
