Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize