I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So vagazzling was a success
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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