im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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