Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
