I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
