I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
