those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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