Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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