tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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