She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Someone shattered a urinal.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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