An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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