I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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