In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
