I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
