i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
