The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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