Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
