I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
