xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
