this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
