It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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