I CAN MOONWALK!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
