what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize