i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
