so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
