C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Me too!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
