sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
