i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
