Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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