maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
