I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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