i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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