shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
honey bunches of taint.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
