if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
