I just saw a hot homeless man
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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