what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
