Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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