I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
