I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
