She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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