she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
