Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
