I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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