she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
