Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
