my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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