i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
