i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
