If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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