There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
