Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
